• Chronicles of Mom Life

8 Ways to Keep A Healthy Relationship When You Have Kids

Updated: Jan 18

Children can really change your life and throw off the balance of your relationship.

Sleepless nights, ear piercing cries, and endless poopy diapers can really make a person feel like they’re going insane.

After giving birth, you can put your whole entire heart and soul into raising your new baby and you can totally forget you had a significant other before you had your baby.

Many husbands will admit that they feel neglected after the baby arrives, which unfortunately can lead to marital and relationship issues.

I’ve compiled a list of 8 ways to keep a healthy relationship when you have kids.

1. Go on date nights

One of the most important things to do as a couple is to go on dates whether it’s weekly, biweekly, or monthly. My husband and I try to find a sitter at least once a month so we can go on a date. Finding fun things to do during a pandemic is difficult, but depending on the season, you can find different indoor and outdoor activities to do. You could check out a local drive-in movie theatre, take a walk around your neighborhood, or spend an evening cooking dinner together.

2. Stay up late or get up early to spend time together

Sometimes staying up late can be difficult when you have to be up early for work in the morning, but spending an hour together on the weekend after the kids have gone to bed is a great way to spend time with your significant other. You can spend this time watching tv together or chatting about your day. If you are not night owls, you could get up before the kids in the morning instead.

3. Find time for intimacy

This is a given with every healthy relationship, especially after children. It can be difficult to find time to be intimate if you have a baby who still sleeps in your bedroom or you have a toddler who wanders in your room every night. Making time for each other is especially important to keep your relationship strong.

4. Make time for yourself

It is important to spend time with your significant other to have a healthy relationship, but it’s also important to spend time alone. Draw up a bath, go for a run, or just get in the car and drive around by yourself. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing alone, make sure to find time to do it. Everyone needs time to themselves without their children and it will make both of you better parents and partners if you can have some time to relax and destress.

5. Open communication

I may sound like a marriage counselor here (which I am not), but you really should be open and honest with your significant other. Spend a little time talking about issues you are having or how you can both improve in certain aspects. If you need assistance in this area, I do suggest speaking to a marriage counselor who could help you discuss your relationship in a safe space.

6. Have conversations about topics other than work and the kids

Your children are important and sometimes you may feel like your life revolves around them, which can leave limited topics for conversation. You do not have to discuss your children and your work every time you are away from them. Come up with some interesting topics to discuss for fun and write them down so the next time you are chatting with your significant other, you have something new to talk about.

7. Find a hobby or activity to share

Do you want to take a ballroom dance class or a cooking class together? Maybe you wanted to start watching the Marvel Cinematic Universe in chronological order or go to the gym together. The sky is the limit with activities to do together that you both will enjoy. You could even find activities to do together in your house after the kids are in bed if you have trouble finding a babysitter.

8. Be silly!

This one may be strange, but you need to be silly with your significant other if you want to make it through these parenting years. Kids can really put a strain on your relationship and can lead to stress and tension. Our children know how silly and weird we can be and they love to join in. Sometimes you need to just roll with the craziness and laugh it off. You may have pen all over your wall or chocolate milk all over your couch right now, but in 10 years, it won’t matter. So be silly, have inside jokes, and make your kids question your sanity.

Just remember, your children might be the most important part of your life now, but after they have grown up and moved out to start their own families, your significant other will still be there with you.

Do you have any tips to maintain a healthy relationship when you have children?

Comment and Share them below!

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